Tuesday, 2 December 2008

calling in gay, and eating noodles.

This is a great idea, especially in light of the rampant homophobia that was on display in the United States, what with voting to ban gay marriage all over the place. ..*ahem* Sheesh. The way people are fighting it, you'd think we were talking about *mandatory* gay marriage... for everyone. Now, even though I've always secretly wished that homophobes were literally afraid of me (which would get me a lot more space on public transportation, and would ensure that I had a WHOLE BIKE LANE all to myself as terrified heterosexuals threw themselves out of my path in fear and panic), they aren't. Even though I know that my life is a frikin' (vegan) cakewalk compared to the lives of queers just a few years ago, so-called progressive places (like my ex-country Canada) didn't just hand over rights to queers because they like us and actually think we should have them. Nope. They had to be ordered to do so in court. And we still don't get the same treatment as everybody else. For example, how ridiculous would it be if big old queers everywhere got to vote on whether or not we thought heterosexuals should be allowed to adopt? What if we said no, and instead voted to restrict the rights of heterosexuals, but still expected them to contribute time and money and support to society, just as if they were equal? See? See how ridiculous that is? Frankly, I think it's worth throwing a bit of a temper tantrum occasionally over this. (Actually, I think it's worth a lot more than that). So my darling American readers, on December 10th, call in Gay, and if you can't (or if you work for an employer who actually gives you the same benefits as heterosexuals or is really awesome, such that you'd just be being kinda nonsensical), don't buy anything. Keep your big, fat, gay dollars (or pounds) in your pocket for the day.

You know what? I don't even want children. But, like the dude in that Monty Python film, I want the RIGHT to have children. I also, for the record, have no intention of getting married, and have problems with the very idea of giving special rights to couples, but if you're going to recognize couply relationships, it should be all couples. Not having (or adopting) a kid or getting married or whatever should be a choice, not a restriction placed on you because of who you happen to get nekkid with.

Here, if you need to comfort yourself, need to comfort your friends, or just need energy for more hot, out-of-wedlock queer sex... Soba noodles. Easy, yummy, and oh-so-slurpy. On the noodles: dried mushrooms, kibble (ahem, tvp), pumpkin and chard, simmered in water, soy sauce, wine and a bit of sugar. That's it. Simple. Yet extremely Gay.

queerly: I wish I was him. Bikini Kill.


medici said...

Oh, I also wish that all of the homophobes and any terrified heterosexuals would part before me like The Red Sea before an irate Moses. And car drivers, too, while we're at it. What a pleasing thought. Make way, make way!!!

I'll keep all of those GB pounds in my pockets on Dec 10, but calling in gay would shock exactly none of my colleagues. It *would* shock them if I came in dressed as a girl, though. Tempting. I'd need to borrow the garments.

I have never had noodles that were as perfect for a freezing Monday night as the soba noodles described here. They were easy, cheap, comforting, and absolutely scrumptious. Can noodles really be calming? These noodles were.

Hats off to The Kitchen Dancer.

medici said...

Oh, and before I forget --- that photo is one of my favorites of you. I think that it really captures something. Well done!

sinead said...

I think it captures me offering up some soba noodles to the spycam gods? or me being gay and noodly?

medici said...

What???!!!??? You ALSO have a spycam???!!!??? I thought that it was only me. At least neither of us is microchipped.

And yes - the picture captures your gay, noodly, soba-noodle-offering qualities to a tee.

Jake said...

I agree. The picture is quintessential Sinead.

Jake said...

I had a dream last night that I moved to Scotland and became your roommate.

sinead said...

oooooh! that'd be fun... i'd feed you silly, though.

medici said...

EeeeeeeeeeeeeeK!!! The ways of The Kitchen Dancer are catching!!!

I just heard myself talking seriously to a vegetable -- cooing to a green pepper "Well aren't you the prettiest little pepper on the planet" as I removed it from my fridge. (For the record, it totally WAS the prettiest little pepper on the planet - all green and wee and slightly blushing on one side).

I blame the hypnotic effect of the picture attached to this post, along with astrology and the trams.

vegandwhatnot said...

thanks for the rantiness...will pass on some of your good arguements, here.

Oh, what life lessons can't we learn from Monty Python???

And don't worry medici, I too need to break myself of the habit of talking to veg, and of putting googly eyes on them so that they stare at people from their spots in the fridge.

sinead said...

lol. i don't think we should even try to stop talking to our veg. we should just form a society called "the vegetable whisperers."